My compliance seems to be working out well for everyone but me. Apparently, I’m not stoic enough. I do not know what do you want? A misanthropic paradox, perhaps.
How am I supposed to keep going the way it’s expected out of me. Like a doll, just smiling. Covered in red lipstick and batting my long lashes.
I can no longer talk to you or express myself. And steadily, that’s where everyone is going. Am I just supposed to mute myself?
I’ve reduced in quality. I’m a mere wastebasket now where everyone dumps their useless emotions. And, that’s about it. I do not utter a word beyond it or even show a glimpse of any expression.
I was going to teach you how to play this game but I seem to have become a pawn. I am loathing every moment of this but it does not look like anybody is going to pay heed. I peek outside the window of my heart to see stone cold statues covered in snow.
Now, I patiently wait for the spring. For the Sun to melt the snow and warm the hearts. To feel good about myself again. To be more of a person and less of a pawn. But the sad reality being, the spring of my life does not have an estimated arrival date.
In this long process of longing, I’m trapped ; trapped inside and my eyes are fixated on the window. Rather, the statues that lie beyond. With the dawn of every new day, my expectation inflates and as the sun sets, so does my spirit.
My hope is still alive. My spring shall come soon. Till then, I’ll befriend the stone-hearted.
With love and longing,