Letter #4

Dear,

I give up. Finally. After months of being a heartless prick, I give up. You can’t even begin to imagine how light and elated I am!

I cracked open the window of my heart and you won’t believe what happened! The spring air filled my lungs and I breathed. I breathed in the blooms and sprouts. The icy, cold winter is gone. My thawing was successful.

My statue friends? They just needed the ‘human touch’. I won’t say that they’ve fluidized enough to a state of free flowing emotions and plethora of humanity, but I do see a miniscule amount of feelings in them. And somehow, that’s enough to get me going, to make me believe that I am someone who matters and not a useless rag doll.

My life is nothing but a series of epiphanies. Does that make me naive though? Well, I do not care. I am close to being free now. I am just two steps away from being happy.

Yes, I give up. I give up on you, big time. I have yearned for months to make you feel. Feel anything – love, hatred, happiness, care, jealousy. Alas, you’re way above and beyond that. It’s incomprehensible to me, nevertheless I am done trying. You are going to remain you and it serves me right for me to remain myself.

Have I mentioned? I love being me! Why did I ever bother to put up and comply with you is beyond me. Why did I do that with anyone is completely beyond me. Silly, silly me! I remember promising myself that I am going to do whatever it takes for me to be happy. How easily I changed my path! Now, I’m back on track.

I don’t know how this makes you ‘feel’. But, dear, don’t try to withhold me. I’ve fixed my wings myself and I shall take flight now. You can stand under the shade of my wings but you can’t govern where I go.

I’ll keep in touch with you. To let you know how much better life is when I live it through me and not by being inured.

Love and farewell,
Me.

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