What hurt feels like…

Hurt is when you alter your emotions as you see fit,

Hurt is when you lie to me,

Hurt is when I trusted you irrespective,

Hurt is when you have no regard for my feelings.

 

I seem like a fool here, to give my life and emotions for the sake of yours. To please you with all my might just to receive a lie in return. To cater to all your needs while I break down on the other end of the phone.

How frequently and conveniently you brandish the ‘You have hurt me’ card! How easily my guilt has overflown and I’ve turned remorseful!

I’ll tell you what hurt feels like… It’s the pain from every time you’ve stabbed me in the back. It’s the recoil pain from every time you have held me in high regards, like pulling the knives out and exposing the fresh wounds. It’s the pain of EVERY TIME you rubbed a tonne of salt on these wounds.

Hurt feels like that piping hot cup of coffee which I love. The same coffee that soothes me is the one that burns me. That is what you are to me. Do not flatter yourself, it is not a guilty pleasure. It’s just as infinite loop. Infinite loop of lies and manipulation. A web of qualms and misgivings. A forgery of forgiveness and love. A counterfeit of emotion.

So, next time before you flash one of these cards at me again, think. Think hard and think deep. Because every infinite loop has a terminus; the terminus where I get off and some one else gets on. Contemplate and count. You are just a character in my book, who inspires my thoughts to manifest into words. Beyond that, you are a nebulous structure who once grazed my mind…

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