My infinity began with counting the colours in a rainbow. The seven colours, right? Well, I was made to learn the VIBGYOR, to identify the violets and the greens. But I could never really classify the colours. That transition phase where violet turned to Indigo or when Orange turned to Red. Where did that fit in?
I was taught to draw a rainbow. 8 perfectly discrete semi circular lines. And then, I’d start colouring. First filling in the red. But as soon as I touched the semi circular line, I switched the colour to Orange. Then yellow, so on and so forth. I did learn how to draw a rainbow that day, but I lost the essence of one. By trying to define the rainbow, constraining the colours within the 8 lines, I lost all the colours of the transition phase. The colours which I probably can’t name or even see were lost. Ironic how my infinity was bound by 8 lines.
Then came physics, who told me that the sky isn’t blue and the sun isn’t yellow. So what about the canvass I had painted! The canvass I had discreetly painted was now a lie. My yellow sun with a smiley face was a lie. My light blue sky with white clouds was a misconception. My bound rainbow was a cheap knockoff. Was there anything on my canvass that was real?
I could not longer believe in what I saw. Because my own eyes were now lying to me. I saw colors but they weren’t real. And the seed of doubt had already taken its roots.
But then I realized, it’s not what I saw, but I believed in that helped me paint my canvass. So, I took a step back. Maybe a couple of steps. To get back to the charm of the transitioning colours. That’s where all the beauty lay, in its unprecedented demeanor.
She challenged me. Challenged me to get better – To come as close as I could to her perfection. She donned a wicked smile every time I failed. She condemned my rainbow every second I tried to create magic.
And then it hit me. They say you find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. I found mine painting one. The truth is – You can’t chase perfection. You can be as meticulous as you can. You can train yourself as hard as humanely possible. But you CAN’T chase perfection. Instead, you can try the transition. You can enjoy your growth and the beauty of perfection, even. But you CAN NOT be that perfection…
Image courtesy – http://jenittfur.deviantart.com/art/Dark-Rainbow-259728548